Kline Found Guilty
(from the AP)It was reported today that Michael Kline, of Mitchell County, NC, was found guilty by the (Art )Police, of various violations of symmetry rules, and adding unnecessary curly ques to vines as well as multiple violations of the Fibonacci principle.
In a statement, Billy Ruth Sudduth, railed against the free and uninhibited use of climbing vines in Kline's work, which clearly pay no consideration to the 1/1, 1/2, 2/3, 3/5, 5/8, 8/13, 13/21, 21/34, etc., rules of design and more importantly none of his vineage converge to the harmonic proportion 0.5*(square root of 5 - 1) = 0.618034. "This is totally unacceptable," claims Sudduth, who should know!
"Kline is in blatant violation of many design rules, not to mention violations of the photographic code of procedure," claims Sudduth. "It is obvious from the photo that Kline used a dirty, soiled bath towel to display his stubby pot with non-symmetric vineage all over it!"
"It is a disgrace." says Sudduth.
Cynthia Bringle concurred on the violations saying that Kline is just another example of poor tutelage at the art schools across this country. "I really don't know how they think that they can get away with this type of slacker attitude and still be considered a folk potters." chides Bringle. "When I was young we would never use soiled towels. Macrame and fence posts was the only approved photographic backgrounds. Ohh, the youth of today!"
Terry Gess, an upstanding member of the Potter's of the Roan, was asked to comment and noted that Kline is not really a potter, he is a blogger!
"Said so himself at the clay/geek club last week while he was slinging around criticism of all the young whipper snappers,"retorted Gess, whose disdain was evident.
Gess also noticed the use of non-spackled dry wall as a backdrop and explained that "this is why Kline could never be allowed into our group."
"It was all we could do to allow Mark Peters and Shane Mickey in, but Kline...no way! It is a disgrace," says Gess, sitting on his porch swing eating a peanut butter sandwich off of a paper plate and wiping his mouth with his sleeve.
"Anyone got a napkin?"
Kline could not be reached for comment.
John Britt
www.johnbrittpottery.com
hey,
ReplyDeletei resemble that remark, i feel that i am below the standards of the illustrious POTR, but its amazing what a little money can do
I too resemble the heck out of this remark. I think the fine for Kline should equal the crime. One year at the hands of Diva Susan Feagin, sandblasting anything she requires.
ReplyDeleteNice, Britt!
ReplyDeleteWhat's the crime that Kline should be fined, for painting vines in vain?
ReplyDeleteOr was it the towel that screams foul, where a graduated backdrop might howl?
I would've used the hood of the truck as my backdrop, but it was raining and I was afraid the pot would melt. Besides, I used the cleanest towel I could find.
Now you have done it! Pugilistic punditry.
ReplyDeleteTrying to get out of your crimes by rhyming. Carl Castle may like that but it doesn't fly here.
Hi... I'm new to blogging and am a student at Clayworks in Charlotte. It's been fun and helpful to follow this blog. So I wonder, if he is guilty, what happens to this pot pictured? I could find it a home. :)
ReplyDeletevery fun-knee!
ReplyDeleteAmy,
ReplyDeleteYes you can have it.
Just email Kline where and when you can picke it up. It is the least he can do.
Amy, Sorry I wish the jar could be yours, but the mob destroyed it when they showed up at the pottery this evening. Apparently they had just taken a class somewhere in digital photography and were outraged that my jar looked better on a dirty towel than anything they shot on their fancy overpriced backdrop!
ReplyDeleteAgain, sorry, I hope you will understand.
Oh my GOD. I remember them!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry Michael, I hear the "pot" department of the Bakersville police department is on the job and will be visiting the Britt studio later today for further investigation.
ReplyDeleteJune